HEY! I see you two back there trying to neck and pet and give each other all kinds of diseases! I'm turning on the lights, and I guess I'm gonna have to break out the films on ....

SEXUAL EDUCATION!

Stop that giggling! You might as well know now rather than from your friends through the Twitter and the Tumblr and ... What? You already know? Well, it doesn't hurt for some review.

Before I break out the hard stuff showing nasty bumps on private parts, I'll start you off with a simple way to avoid it all together - don't touch anything or anyone for the rest of your life!! In this 1949 classic, a young Seth MacFarlane goes to a fair of high teenagers to go on a date with Rosie the Riveter and tries so hard not to touch anything!

Now pay attention and keep your hands where I can see them.

Well, only one day back in school from Thanksgiving, and now your back in detention! Well, fine. I get paid either way.

I was thinking about going easy on you by showing you a nice, entertaining film but.... I think I'll subject you to watching MORE FOOD! And it's from the 50's so be prepared for an onslaught of BUTTER, WHOLE MILK, and WHITE BREAD!! Those pansies at Food Network can learn a thing or two about making something nutritious and delicious without a bunch of quinoa and tofu.

Bon appetit!